Sulfur Sulfur

I HAVE A VERY CURLY HAIR and combing it for a style would not be a better idea. It will just make it worse. That is a fact alright. That is why, you can't see me buying or even having a comb even just one time because it all simply mean one thing: I HATE COMBS! (shit).

Well, I believe that you are deducing that hating combs is very unnatural for such a highly civilized lad like me but what can I possibly do when I can't stand even looking at it? I would usually prefer it to be thrown out of the window, burn it to ashes or break it to pieces instead.

Poor combs.

Ok back to my hair. My hair is like a bunch of fly-away sprouting black thick wires that looks so dull and dry. I cannot doubt that any normal hair-conscious fellow would stand to see the general outlook of the poor scenery of my top. Worse than that, most of my hair viewers are my customers. Sometimes they would tend to be smiling when they meet me during my sales talk - listen to my verbal flowering words of our product - listen to my latest product offers - listen to how I explain to them why our prices usually gets higher - they get bored afterwards thus, made some lazy glances straight at my stupid hair and then look so lonely and pitiful when their eyes reached my eyes. Most of my customers are like that especially during times that I don't even have time to go to the barber shop to lessen my witch-inspired hair a bit.

Indeed my hair looks really bad when I left it uncut for a couple of months. It's length (for everyone's information) is not based by how you see it from meters away but by how you feel its volume or in other words, the length of my hair is based on the distance between my scalp and its crumpled curly hair on top (use a ruler please). I actually tried so many stuffs to make my hair look the way I want it to be. You know, the one you see in most shampoo commercials - the straight 'sunod sa galaw' hair that obeys the air. That's why I tried hair relaxing one time which actually make my hair straight at the start then crumpled and so stiff as like a stupid damaged hair of a ripe corn afterwards. Sounds funny but true. My mother usually kept on telling me to stop spending so much about my hair and just shave it all off instead. So, the story then proceed to a son following his ever loving mother to make himself bald as to like Bembol Roco. I felt so humiliated afterwards for my over-all look seem to make it worse. My butt-like forehead was emphasized for the first time. It (my forehead) was actually bulging and totally much more pitiful than having a witchy hair. But anyways, I still look clean and I don't need to stay in the mirror longer than before. As time moves on, my hair continuous to grow - until again it was the same old stupid kinky unorganized wired hair once again. Self-pity or not, in whatever way you assess my attitude about my hair, I can say that I am now happy with what I have unlike before that I could almost burn my hair off.

Hello guys! I now love my curly kinky Sulfuric hair!

It all started recently when I was conversing with my co-employee who is in fact also has a gift of a witchy-hair. But not really as witchy as mine (because mine is worse).

x: "Ate Teri, may alam ka ba sa mga sciences ng hair?"

This is a part of our daily routine of conversing (when we are idle at work) about anything under the Glorietta luminous light. We started talking about Ginataang Tulingan, then about increases in the prices of common goods, the poor situation of our country, about the death of Johnny Midnight, 15 letters of the Korean alphabet, the annhyeung haseyo greeting of Koreans, down to the differences between lapulapu and mayamaya. I don't know how these topics connects with the hair -- anyways.

y: "Alam mo ba kong ano ang components ng mga hair natin X?"

I heard about the common shampoo commercials on television that talked most of the time about vitamins and stuff but Keratin sprout in my mind faster.

x: "Keratin, and some other minerals 'di ba?"

y: "Hindi masyado. Ang hair natin normally maraming mga minerals diyan, hindi lang keratin and since 'yung atin medyo kinky mas marami tayong tinatawag na Sulfur Sulfur. 'Yun 'yung nagpapa-increase ng volume at curliness ng hair natin. Alam mo ba kung ano pa ang purpose ng Sulfur Sulfur sa hair natin?"

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(silence)

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I really cannot digest what she said about the Sulfur Sulfur thing and what's its connection with the curly hair so I never hesitate to ask her jargon.

x: "What the hell is Sulfur Sulfur? An element, mineral? Why do we need to repeat two elements at the same time? That is redundancy if compared to grammar!"

y: "X --- Talk about chemistry! Dalawang Sulfur 'yun so 'SS' siya na mixture. For example: H20 equals water, CO2 Carbon Dioxide, and some others."

x: "E 'di dapat S2 na lang para mas maganda. Sige tell me more about Sulfur Sulfur."

y: "Ok, don't you know that Sulfur Sulfur helps in the development of your brain?"

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(silence)

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x: " Really? So it means... Most curly haired people are intellectually capacitated and in short intelligent."

y: "That's what my professor is telling me before. That's why during those times he kept on calling me Ms. Sulfur Sulfur (hahaha)."

x: "Ahay, matalino pala tayo mare!".


And the rest is history. Let me elaborate some more. Alright. I am born this way having such a gift of a so-called Sulfur Sulfur in my hair which helps for the further development of my brain. The brain is near the strands of my curly hair. The extremity of having such a sulfurific hair is in its curliness. Mine is proudly curled and witchy. Meaning, the more witchy it looks the more Sulfur Sulfur it has. And I never seen any really witchy hair-do such as mine. Thus, it all simply mean that my brain is in the nth power continually sulfurifically developing more like any unfortunate straight or nearly curly-haired folk under the sun.

I love my hair now.

Thanks for the SULFUR SULFUR.