Getting Personal

I have come across to hear a lot flowering words from people here and there. Some are quite amusing; too much sugarcoating just to catch attention and gain more friends. And most of the time, they tend to go overboard in personifying themselves. Goodlooking, gymbuff, sporty, and the list just go on. Too good to be true is what I say. Yeah, the physique really counts but then again, does it?

So I’ve decided to make this part of my blog to know me well. I don’t know if it matter knowing me like a real X shot nude for the public to see; or rather for the whole world to see. Naturally, I don’t like being personal. I remembered my gone out high school days having to write down personal things in their autograph books but reading them again, I felt like it is just putting labels to people. I will also say that some of the inputs are hanging; impermanent. Some will lie as this will be really expected for the purpose of naturally making them acceptable by the majority. That’s why I myself inputted stuffs in that “book” that would generally fit everyone’s reading (as you know autograph books are really meant to be read by the majority) and put N/A for other blank statements that is too personal based on my own weighing scale.

I would say that I could greatly express who am I not by that autograph book but by rather in my essays. I’ve so many of them before and it keeps on updating every now and then especially at times that I keep on exposing myself to sorts of people.

So right now, I am writing another one essay with that same genre putting it in this part of my blog. It would be in a different way. Just to change the tide. That’s what I do most of the time. Go against the flow. So I’ll start of with the ‘negatives’ then you decide.

To make it lesser corny and for the purpose of making you all laugh out loud, I will write it in English, Filipino, and afterwards in Spanish.

And I am not kidding . . .



The English Professional Version

Who am I?
I’m not handsome. I tend to let people decide. It’s all subjective anyway. But then I would say there are times that I feel I’m cute. I’m not gymbuilt either. My pics may reveal otherwise but I’m just of a lean body type. With a little flab in the belly. Never had abs! I’m white in person. Most people I’ve met asked if I have foreign blood. They say I’m tisoy (fair-skinned). No, I’m not. I’m 100% pinoy. You might be surprised to see my relatives. They’re all dusky. But it’s all right. Maybe it’s because our former driver was fair-skinned. Well, I’m happy with my color. As a classmate of mine back in high school would say, I’m the tisoy type who’s so well behaved. Thanks a lot (while I proceed to kill my classmate). Taurus is my sign, which explains why my patience level is so high. I don’t know now why I killed my classmate. My close friends amaze me. They lasted through my moods, sometimes chirpy, then all of a sudden withdrawn and holding a grudge for whatever reason. Mental, ain’t it? That’s me really. Very sensitive this is why I sense it when there’s a problem. Even those about to get angry at me, I can tell.

Juan Tamad’s my brother. If not for my roommates our room will probably be a pigsty. You won’t see me cleaning up. Just giving moral support all the time. Demanding here and there, complaining it’s dirty here, it’s dirty there. I don’t know how to do the dishes either, so if I know my roommates won’t be around, I’ll simply buy take out “with styro” packaging required. It’s because I care for water conservation. Water’s a waste to be used for washing plates. Now you might think I’m absolutely lazy, hehe. I still get to take a bath everyday and brush my teeth. But no cleaning the bathroom for me. I’ll never do that. It’s my cousin’s major subject actually so I assigned that to him. By the way, I’m the boss of my room, because I own almost every fixture and appliance in it. In other words, they’re just sharing with me. So they ought to make themselves useful. Hahahaha!They say I’m aloof at first glance. Nope. That’s just my normal mode. I shy really when I haven’t known you yet. Mysterious! Money burner! When worrying, I run to the mall. Must spend. Shopping therapy. It’s my New Year’s resolution. Must save!

I’m spoiled. Yup, I’m spoiled. ‘cause I’m the youngest. I’m used to getting what I want. I’ll even make a cousin tag along for a forced stroll at the mall until it closes for the day. But still, no can do. Everyone going with me to the mall are a little sansui (one psst! and they go home) so now I prefer strolling by myself. When would I meet a dominant personality who isn’t sansui? Haha!

Now that you’ve known the ‘not so good side’ of me, it’s your call if you’ll continue to read on or just close this fuckin’ a**hole’s window.

I’m an art geek. If you like art stuffs like paintings, poems, films, and “me” we’ll get along well. Palanca addict. Every week almost, I’m in their office to read and read. Coffee freak. Regular of Starbucks in Glorietta. But I haven’t got their planner. They say it’s great but it feels like I’m just weird, why wouldn’t I feel like having some stubs stamped --- uhmm --- around 21 to have one. Most likely the product of indolence. Juan Tamad must be flowing in my veins now. But isn’t it atrocious to be lazy? So this year, I want to change. You know, I made my own New Year's resolution regarding my laziness.

Number one: I’ll clean my room if ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.

Number two: I’ll be washing. Just one plate, ok? And not MANY PLATES.

Number three: I’ll clean the bathroom IF --- oops. I’m keeping my New Year’s resolutions to two. That’s a period.

I don’t smoke. Wait, let’s change that, I do smoke. But I’m not an addict. I smoke only when I feel like acting upscale. My body junks cigarettes, but I wonder why my mind wants it. I seldom drink. Two bottles of beer and that’s it for me. I seldom go to bars. I would prefer a place where we could talk with sense. I hate people who are always nodding yes at me. I prefer those who contradict me all the time. I want someone to talk with, not fans. I’m good at reading auras. I do wonder why I see these colors when I look about. At first I thought it was a reflection of the light or my eyes were simply damaged but no, I was seeing other people’s emotions. I’m good at reading and getting the nature of someone in one glance. I stay away from people with yellow auras. Because I perceive them to be evil, or about to hack me with a knife. I feel close to people with green auras. This is why almost everyone I get along with has that color. When it comes to friendship, you can’t put down a bad word on me. I’ll easily be your companion to shoot the breeze. Just being friendly friends, nothing horny. That’s another thing already hehe. As for relationships, I’m the densest person you’ll know. Damn, it’s your problem if you hate me or want me but I’m going home. Well of course you have to show you’re worthy to hold my attention. ‘cause when I’m in a relationship, I’ll give all I can afford to give. Just leave out money, there’ll be trouble if we get involved in that. I like better those more mature than me but I’m not looking for a granny. Just people more mature than me. Not again someone who’s a student. It’s complicated! Right now I’m happy with my status. Of course it’ll be great to have a hug-mate. Hopeless romantic!



The Filipino (Medyo) Professional Version

Sino Ako?
Hindi ako gwapo. I tend to let people decide. Subjective naman yan eh. But then I would say there are times that I feel na cute ako. Hindi rin ako gymbuilt. My pics may reveal otherwise but I’m just of a lean body type. Medyo nagka-tyan na nga. Kahit kailan hindi nagka-abs yan! I’m white in person. Most people I’ve met asked if I have a foreign blood. Tisoy daw kasi ako. Hindi po. Pinoy na pinoy ako. Baka magulat ka pag nakita mo mga relatives ko, mga maiitim. Pero ayos lang. Dahil siguro maputi ang dati naming drayber. Well, masaya talaga ako sa kulay ko. Sabi nga ng classmate ko nung highschool, ako yung tisoyin na “napakabait”. Salamat po (sabay patay sa kaklase) Taurus ako kaya napakataas ng aking patience level. Ewan ko ba bakit ko siya napatay. Bilib nga ako sa mga barkada ko. Natagalan ‘yung ugali ko na minsan masaya tapos bigla na lang tatahimik at magtatampo sa ‘di alam kung ano ang dahilan. Pang mental ba? Ganun lang talaga ako. Very sensitive kaya ramdam ko 'pag may problema na. Kahit ‘yung magagalit pa lang sa akin alam ko na.
Kapatid ko si Juan Tamad. Kung hindi lang sa mga roommate ko marahil naging parang tangkal na ang kwarto namin. Hindi mo ako makikita na naglilinis. Laging moral support lang palagi. Utos dito, utos doon, reklamo na madumi dito, reklamo na madumi roon. Hindi rin ako marunong maghugas ng mga plato kaya kung alam kong wala ang mga room mate ko, bibili na lang ako sa labas "with styro" packaging dapat. Nag-kecare kasi ako sa conservation ng water. Sayang ang tubig kapag pinanghuhugas lang ng pinggan. Hala baka akalain niyo na sobra sobra na ang katamaran ko. Kahit papano, naliligo pa rin ako araw araw at nagsisipilyo ng ngipin. Pwera lang maglinis ng banyo. Hinding hindi ko talaga gagawin 'yun. Major subject na ng pinsan ko 'yun actually kaya sa kanya ko na 'yun inaasign. Ako pala ang boss sa kwarto ko. Ako kasi halos lahat ang may-ari ng mga kagamitan. In other words, nakikigamit lang sila sa akin. Kaya dapat lang na pagsilbihan nila ako. Hahahaha!


Suplado daw ako sa unang tingin. Hindi po. Normal na sakin yun. Tahimik lang talaga ako pag hindi pa kita kilala. Misteryoso! Magastos! Kapag may problema, mall ang takbuhan ko. Kelangang gumastos. Shopping therapy. Ito ang New Year’s resolution ko. Magtipid!

Spoiled ako. Opo, spoiled ako. Bunso kasi. Sanay akong nakukuha mga gusto ko. Kahit humatak ng pinsan at piliting mamasyal hanggang magsara ang mall gagawin ko. Pero hindi pa rin. Lahat kasi ng mga lagi kong nakakasama sa mall medyo sansui (sang sitsit uwi) kaya prefer ko ngayon na mag-isa mamasyal. Kelan ba ko makakatagpo ng dominant personality na hindi sansui?! HaHa!
Now that you’ve known the ‘not so good side’ of me, it’s your call if you’ll continue to read on or just close this fuckin’ a**hole’s window.

Medyo art geek ako. Kung mahilig ka sa mga art stuffs like paintings, poems, films, and “me”magkakasundo tayo. Palanca addict. Halos every week nasa office nila to read and read. Coffee freak. Tambay ng Starbucks sa Glorietta. But I don’t got their planner. Maganda raw pero ewan weird lang talaga ako bakit di ko feel na magpatatak ng stubs ---uhmm mga 21 ata to have one. Produkto siguro ng katamaran. Si Juan Tamad na ata ang dumadaloy sa mga dugo ko. Pero parang napakapangit maging tamad ano? Kaya ngayong taon, gusto ko na magbago. You know, I made my own new year's resolution patungkol sa katamaran ko.

Number one: Maglilinis na ako ng kwarto KUNG kinakailangan.

Number two: Maghuhugas na ako ng plato. Isang plato lang ok? At hindi MGA PLATO.

Number three: Maglilinis na ako ng banyo if --- ay! Hanggang dalawa na lang pala ang New Year’s resolution ko. Period na 'yun.

I don’t smoke. Teka irevise natin, I smoke pala. Pero hindi ako addict. Humihithit lang kong trip kong maging feeling sosyal. Dehins gusto ng katawan ko ang yosi pero ewan ko ba bakit gusto ng utak ko. I seldom drink. Hanggang 2 bote lang ako ng beer. Pero tequila pucha lalaban ako. I seldom go to bars. I would prefer a place where we could talk with sense. Ayoko ng mga taong laging oo ng oo sa akin. Mas gusto ko ‘yung lagi akong kinokontra. Kausap ang gusto ko at hindi fans. Magaling ako magbasa ng aura. Ewan ko nga bakit sa isang tingin ko lang nakakakita na ako ng mga kulay. Akala ko noong una reflection lang ng ilaw or sira lang talaga ang mata ko pero hindi pala. Emotion pala ng tao ang nakikita ko. Magaling ako magbasa at malaman ang nature ng tao sa tingin pa lang. Lumalayo ako sa mga taong may yellow na aura. Sa tingin ko kasi masasama sila or tatagain ako. Malapit ako sa mga taong berde ang aura. Kaya halos lahat ng mga nakakasundo ko may ganoong kulay. Pagdating sa kaibigan wala kang masasabi sakin. Madali akong hatakin 'pag kelangan mo ng kasama magpalipas oras. Tropa tropa lang, walang libog. Ibang usapan na kasi yun hehe. ‘Pag sa relasyon naman, ako na siguro yung pinakamanhid na taong makikilala mo. Pucha, bahala ka dyan kong ayaw mo o gusto mo sa akin basta uuwi na ako. Pero syempre dapat ipakita mo munang worthy ka na bigyan ng atensyon. Ako kasi kapag sa relasyon, bigay lahat hangga’t kaya ko. ‘Wag lang sa pera dyan tayo magkakalabuan. I’d prefer those na mas matanda sa akin pero hindi lola ang hinahanap ko. ‘Yung mature lang talaga. At saka siyempre yung kulot yung buhok katulad ko. ‘Wag nang estudyante ulit. Mahirap! Right now I’m happy with my status. Pero syempre masarap pa rin may kayakap. Hopeless romantic!




The Spanish (Ewan at Paki ko) Version

¿Quiénes son yo?

No soy hermoso. Tiendo dejé a gente decidir. Es todo subjetivo de todos modos. Pero entonces diría hay épocas que me siento que soy lindo. No soy gymbuilt tampoco. Mi pics puede revelar de otra manera pero soy justo de un tipo de cuerpo magro. Con un poco flab en el vientre. !Nunca tenía ABS! Soy blanco en persona. La mayoría de la gente que he satisfecho preguntado si tengo sangre no nativa. Dicen que soy tisoy (justo-pelado). No, no soy. Soy el 100% pinoy. Usted puede ser que sea sorprendido ver a mis parientes. Son todos oscuros. Pero todo correcto. Está quizá porque nuestro programa piloto anterior justo-fue pelado. Bien, soy feliz con mi color. Pues un classmate el mío detrás en High School secundaria diría, soy el tipo tisoy que tiene tan receptor de papel comportado. Agradece mucho (mientras que procedo a matar a mi classmate). El tauro es mi muestra, que explica porqué mi nivel de la paciencia es tan alto. Ahora no sé porqué maté a mi classmate. Mis amigos cercanos me sorprenden. Duraron con mis humores, a veces alegres, después todo el haber retirado repentino y llevar a cabo un resentimiento para cualquier razón. ¿Mental, no es? Ése es yo realmente. Muy sensible esta es la razón por la cual la detecto cuando hay un problema. Incluso ésos alrededor a conseguir enojados en mí, puedo decir.

Mi hermano de Juan Tamad. Si no para mis compañeros de cuarto nuestro sitio será probablemente una pocilga. Usted no me verá limpieza para arriba. Apenas dando a ayuda moral toda la hora. El exigir aquí y allí, quejándose él es sucio aquí, él es sucio allí. No sé a haga los platos cualquiera, así que si sé mis compañeros de cuarto no estarán alrededor, yo comprarán simplemente toman hacia fuera ”con el empaquetado del styro” requerido. Es porque cuido para la conservación del agua. Regaron una basura que se utilizará para lavar las placas. Ahora usted puede ser que piense que soy absolutamente perezoso, hehe. Todavía consigo tomar un baño diario y cepillar mis dientes. Pero ninguna limpieza el cuarto de baño para mí. Nunca haré eso. Es tema importante de mi primo realmente así que le asigné eso. A propósito, soy el jefe de mi sitio, porque I posee casi cada base y aplicación en él. Es decir son el compartir justo con mí. Tan ought hacerse útiles. ¡Hahahaha!

Dicen que estoy a distancia en el primer vistazo. Nope. Eso es justo mi modo normal. I arroja realmente cuando no le he conocido todavía. ¡Misterioso! ¡Hornilla del dinero! Al preocuparse, me ejecuto a la alameda. Debe pasar. Terapia de las compras. Es mi resolución del Año Nuevo. ¡Debe salvar!

Me estropean. Yup, me estropean. ' causa soy el más joven. Me utilizan a conseguir lo que deseo. Incluso haré que una etiqueta del primo adelante para un forzado da un paseo en la alameda hasta que se cierra para el día. Pero aún, ninguna lata. ¡Cada uno que va con mí a la alameda es un pequeño sansui (un psst! y van a casa) tan ahora yo prefieren el dar un paseo por me. ¿Cuándo resolvería una personalidad dominante que no es sansui? ¡Haha! Ahora que usted ha conocido ' a la cara no tan buena ' de mí, es su llamada si usted continúa leyendo encendido o apenas cerrando ventana de los a**hole de este fuckin '.

Soy un geek del arte. Si usted tiene gusto de las materias del arte como pinturas, los poemas, las películas, y ”yo” que conseguiremos adelante bien. Adicto a Palanca. Cada semana casi, estoy en su oficina a leer y a leer. Monstruo del café. Regular de Starbucks en Glorietta. Pero no he conseguido a su planificador. Dicen que es grande pero se siente como soy apenas extraño, porqué no yo siéntase como hacer algunos trozos estampar --- uhmm --- alrededor 21 para tener uno. Lo más probablemente posible el producto del indolence. Juan Tamad debe ahora fluir en mis venas. ¿Pero no es atroz a ser perezoso? Tan este año, deseo cambiar. Usted sabe, hice mi propia resolución del Año Nuevo con respecto a mi holgazanería.

Número uno: Limpiaré mi sitio si ABSOLUTAMENTE es NECESARIO.

Número dos: Me lavaré. ¿Apenas una placa, autorización? Y no MUCHAS PLACAS.

Número tres: Limpiaré el cuarto de baño SI --- los oops. Estoy guardando mis resoluciones del Año Nuevo a dos. Eso es un período.

No fumo. Espere, cambiemos eso, yo fuman. Pero no soy un adicto. Fumo solamente cuando me siento como upscale temporario. Mis cigarrillos de las chatarras del cuerpo, pero yo nos preguntamos porqué mi mente lo desea. Bebo raramente. Dos botellas de cerveza y de ésa son él para mí. Voy raramente a las barras. Preferiría un lugar en donde podríamos hablar con sentido. Odio la gente que está cabeceando siempre sí en mí. Prefiero a los que me contradigan toda la hora. Quisiera que alguien hablara con, no los ventiladores. Soy bueno en las aureolas de la lectura. Me pregunto porqué veo estos colores cuando miro alrededor. Al principio I pensado le estaba una reflexión de la luz o mis ojos fueron dañados simplemente pero no, veía las emociones de la gente. Soy bueno en la lectura y conseguir la naturaleza alguien en un vistazo. Permanezco lejos de la gente con aureolas amarillas. Porque las percibo para ser malvado, o para cortarme alrededor con un cuchillo. Me siento cerca de la gente con aureolas verdes. Esta es la razón por la cual casi cada uno que consigo junto con tiene ese color. Cuando viene a la amistad, usted no puede colocar una mala palabra en mí. Seré fácilmente su compañero para tirar a la brisa. El ser justo amigos cómodos, nada córneo. Ése es otro hehe de la cosa ya. En cuanto a lazos, soy la persona más densa que usted conocerá. Maldición, es su problema si usted me odia o me desea pero voy a casa. Receptor de papel por supuesto usted tiene que mostrarle que sea digno llevar a cabo mi atención. ' causa cuando estoy en un lazo, daré todos lo que puedo permitirme para dar. Justo deje hacia fuera el dinero, allí será apuro si conseguimos implicados en ése. Tengo gusto mejor de esos más maduros que mí pero no estoy buscando a abuelita. Gente justa más madura que mí. No otra vez alguien que tiene un estudiante. ¡Es complicado! Ahora soy feliz con mi estatus. Por supuesto será grande tener un abrazar-compañero. !Romántico desesperado!

credits po kay cielo for the English Version and yours truly for Taglish and the Spanish Versions. :)